I think I have now returned to what I've known: I have almost forgotten that I even used to be on a pump because I spent pretty much my whole life on MDII (or at least the DII in the early years) so things seem fine now. I now only miss the pump when times get tough on MDII, like sick days, days when my routine changes, when I want to do exercise, and when my BGL is a bit low and i'm too tired to get out of bed. But at those times I only have a momentary sigh and then move on with it. I still plan to return to the pump and I look forward to how I may love the pump again for making those times easier.
Naturally, the injecting bit is easy - but the way the drugs work still are odd. The pump definately has a lot more peace of mind because you don't have to worry about:
remembering to take your long acting at the right time
forgetting how much bolus you took
remembering to take your injections with you
I'm now half way through my Levemir and my next endo appointment is on the 22 June 06; I have been using that date (just cos its easy to remember) as the time to return to the pump.
My weight is still down by five kilos and that's really starting to concern me now cos as I've said before I don't have that weight to lose. I'm not on any statins but I've noticed the musculature in my thighs, chest and arms seems to have melted. However this does not seem consistent to whhen I was previously on MDII.
I'm also more aware of the stress I am under now. At about the time that I started back on MDII my relationship with my partner was ending (now ended). That was upsetting then but it was really awkward then, and therefore being single now makes things feel more peaceful - though I do miss the happy times. Overall though I'm feeling ok about all that.
My work load and work stress continue to be through the roof...but soothing. Having recently had some major successes in my work keeps the adrenaline pumping and makes me feel sustained in that stress but it must certainly be one reason why I feel so tired.
However I also had to move house - actually more than that: I had to move back in with my mom AND my grandparents!!! Aaahhh! Actually, that's really not as bad as it sounds. But it does mean a loss of many freedoms such as space and privacy.
Finally my beautiful little foster son has been a total delight but his foster mom, and my dear friend, had a heart attack which has had me really worried and needing/wanting to be with her. She's doing really well now but that also had me stop and realise that my plate's a bit full just now.
Given all the above, my friend said to me, "maybe now's not the best time to be fiddling around with treatments?".
To which I replied, "you know how messy my life ALWAYS is. When do you think is a good time?".
I think now is just as good as any time. And at that stage being on the pump was a bit of a problem to, so transfering to Levemir was a bit of an excitement in that abyss of gloom.